Reviews - Travels with Verne and Roy

The Arrow Mill, charming accommodation in Warwickshire

This is the perfect place for a summer wedding – in fact, my stepson Carl and our daughter-in-law Carrie were married here on a perfect English summer’s day in July, 2009. We (but especially Roy) have stayed here many times since then; it’s conveniently close to Roy’s mum’s home in Alcester.

We come not so much for the accommodation as for the food, though this is a lovely old historical inn with oodles of atmosphere. Casual weekday guests like us are not the hotel’s bread and butter: weddings are.

Nevertheless, proprietor Simon does a great job in the kitchen on this quiet Tuesday evening in mid-summer, ably assisted by his friendly wife, Agnes. We’ve already had an excellent lunch today at The Bell at Welford-on-Avon (where Roy had an apple crumble that I suspect he’s going to be raving about for weeks to come); but both Roy and I thoroughly enjoy our delicious shanks of lamb, slow-braised for 14 hours. Wendy, more restrained, pairs a starter of cheesy mushrooms with a lovely salad.

Roy is always good at sussing out the best room at a hotel, and then making sure he gets it on his next visit; at the Arrow Mill, it’s Room 11: a corner location, up just one flight of stairs, away from any kitchen noise and with pretty views. It has a romantic four-poster bed and a fabulous corner bath to put a smile on my face – though Roy complains he has to jump around in the shower to get wet.

We’ll be back, no doubt of that.

The Bull Hotel at Stony Stratford, Milton Keynes

Overnight at The Bull Hotel either before or after the British Grand Prix – it’s 20 minutes from the Silverstone circuit.

People tend to sneer when you mention the “new town” of Milton Keynes, built in 1967 as one of several to relieve London congestion. But there’s more to the place than ugly concrete facades and bewilderingly endless roundabouts – it also encompasses Stony Stratford, whose Watling Street was since Roman times the main thoroughfare from London to the north, and later famous as an overnight stop for stagecoaches.

The Bull Hotel (1609) is one of a handful of old hostelries that remain, and Roy and I spent the night there after the 2016 F1 British Grand Prix. Just along the High Street is The Cock, and this is apparently the origin of the expression “cock and bull story” – it refers to the gossip and tall stories exchanged by travellers at these old inns in days of yore. You can almost hear the clatter of ghostly stage-coaches through its arched entryway into the courtyard; but it’s more likely the sound of a barrel of real ale rolling across cobbles into the adjacent Vaults pub.

One of just 12 rooms, ours overlooked the Parish Church of St Mary and St Giles. Furnishing and décor throughout this little hotel are in new condition, cosy, mainly comfortable, and in keeping with its history. Our room had a spacious bathroom with a good shower, plus a couple of welcome features such as armchairs, a safe and even a fan. This being F1 weekend, the GBP135 we paid was understandably over the odds; happily, it included a full English breakfast, served all the way through to a civilised 11am.

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Who names these beers?

Less civilised was the Bull’s kitchen closing at 6pm on a Sunday night. After a half of Wight Squirrel (lovely name!) at the Vaults, we had another of Hop Goes the Beagle (!) at The Old George Inn (www.theoldgeorge.com), a cosy 16th-century pub offering accommodation and known for its live music.

After that, dinner at the decidedly 21st-century Indian-Bangladeshi Kardamom Lounge (www.kardamomlounge.com), mainly because it was still open. Its ten-quid Sunday Gourmet deal included starter, main, side dish and bread or rice. Good service, good value and generally good and plentiful food, though the chicken vindaloo was, we agreed, so volcanically hot as to be virtually uneatable.

Gratuitous Limerick

A sign for Buckingham on the route back to Reading made me wonder aloud to Roy whether there might be a dirty limerick about that first-mentioned town. There was, yes, and the old sailor in him recalled and recited it at once. It’s far too filthy to repeat here, but I’m going to do so anyway:

There was a young man from Buckingham,

Who stood on the bridge at Uppingham,

Watching the stunts of the c***s in the punts

And the tricks of the pricks who were f***ing’em.

(Sorry.)

British Grand Prix 2016 at Silverstone

With Lewis Hamilton on pole again, Roy’s hoping for rain during the race, to make things “more interesting than the old procession, with the two Mercedes way ahead of everyone else.” With just 10 minutes to go, it’s pouring – and is that hail? Oh, wait – the sun’s come out!

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Roy’s last British Grand Prix was about 30 years ago, he says. His cousin, Anthony (Tony) Jardine, was doing PR for Camel in those days – when cigarette brands were major sponsors of Formula One, along with JPS, Marlborough, Rothmans et al (and many of us used to smoke, remember?). Camel was sponsoring Lotus at the time, he says.

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And here Roy is again – this time with me – at the 2016 British Grand Prix. Our tickets to the fabulous Woodcote Apex hospitality suite were arranged by Roy’s daughter Wendy as her gift to him for his 65th birthday (thanks again, Wendy!), once again through Tony. (He, of course, is still very involved in F1, and motor sports in general: he races and rallies in his own right.)

Silverstone is infamous for diabolical traffic, and the usual English midsummer rain makes things worse. Having set off from the marina at Reading at the ungodly hour of 6.15am, however, we had a clear run through. From our designated Parking Area 26, it’s about a 10-minute walk to Woodcote, and we walk in just in time for coffee and breakfast. Drinks flow from 10.30am all the way through to the suite’s closure at 6pm; a buffet lunch is served from 11.30am.

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There’s plenty to keep the punters occupied at the F1 Village. Merchandise from the various teams is on sale; there’s a Giant Wheel, London Karting doing electric go-karts, Segways, a bungee trampoline and more. And I’ve been in England long enough to appreciate the fact that the weather’s mainly “dry” – actual sunshine is always hoped for, but never really expected.

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When the race ends at 3pm, there’s the Grand Prix After Party, hosted by cousin Tony – The Feeling and The Dolls will perform. We have backstage tickets! – and a room for the night booked at The Bull, at Stony Stratford. Let the games begin!

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