South Perth with its restaurants, cafés and ferry to Perth CBD was the perfect choice for a two-day birthday getaway.

Friday was Roy’s actual birthday, and we drove to South Perth on the Thursday morning. Having parked, morning coffee was first on the agenda. No day has properly started until Roy’s had his coffee – a long mac* topped up, extra-extra hot.

A long mac topped up (LMTU) is a Perth thing. Anywhere else in Australia, you’ll get a blank look if you try to order such a thing. That’s what happened when Roy tried it on in Queensland. No, a long mac is not a long black… that’s something different. A long mac is a long macchiato (or double espresso) topped up with textured milk. And, for whatever reason, it may not be simply called a strong latte. (Not if you identify as a Perthonality, anyway.)

My version is a decaf LMTU with almond milk, which can be pretty grim unless they’ve used a good, smooth-tasting decaf grind and one of the proper barista almond milks like Milk Lab. Fortunately, most places do.

Atomic on Mends Street is South Perth’s famous café. I’d been there once with Deb and Anna, and Roy had popped in with son Carl one day on a South Perth bicycle tour that ended up at a whisky distillery. As any sensible eatery should do, they offer an all-day breakfast menu: an omelette for me, eggs and bacon for Roy. Right next door, and under the same ownership, is Automatic Italian Kitchen.

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In between brunch at the one and dinner at the other, as the sun was going down, I fitted in a brisk river walk – first in westerly-ish direction, and then the other way.

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Roy and I had good pizzas at Automatic with our friends Dario and Susie one evening last year. (They had suggested pizza at the nearby Winston Hotel, but it happened to be a non-pizza night… so we ended up at Automatic.)

This time, we were joined by Blaine and Deb, who says it’s her favourite South Perth restaurant.

She and I had the crispy-skinned barramundi with lemon and saffron beurre blanc sauce ($38.50), which you order with your choice of two of a list of sides. It’s an excellent arrangement: by choosing the delicious rocket and parmesan side salad, plus the broccoli and green beans, you can silence the siren call of truffle mash potatoes, or chips, and have a relatively healthy meal. (That’s if you don’t succumb to the torta caprese; see below.)

Roy (who would have eaten only three chips, anyway) had the pork and veal meatballs ($16.50) with the broccoli-and-bean side. And Blaine had some deliciously aromatic pappardelle filled with mixed mushrooms, duck confit, mascarpone and herbs ($29.50).

Pre-birthday cake seemed like a good idea, so Roy and I shared the torta caprese – a GF chocolate and almond cake with chocolate sauce and vanilla bean gelato. (I’m going to have to make that very, very soon; I’ve already found a likely-looking recipe online.)

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Birthday Boy

Next morning, while the birthday boy put the finishing touches on his ten-hour beauty sleep, I nipped out for another walk along the Swan River. I could never tire of these scenes.

There’s no such thing as a free lunch, but apparently free coffee and cake is a thing – we’d been given a $20 voucher at our accommodation for the excellent Mister Walker on Mends Street Jetty, where we probably would have stopped anyway on our way into the city. I’ve possibly reviewed Mister Walker before; they do an amazing “lamb banjo” with roasted vegetables that’s touted as a meal for two but could easily feed a family. (Not necessarily my family, but a family.)

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Ferry across the Swan for a birthday lunch

Apart from South Perth’s gorgeous location, another spectacular thing is the ferry that plies between Mends Street Jetty and Elizabeth Quay (EQ) every 15 minutes.

Not only is Elizabeth Quay home to several top hotels, restaurants and bars – the Ritz-Carlton and Hearth; Double Tree by Hilton and its 18 Knots rooftop bar; the Oyster Bar; Annalakshmi vegetarian Indian; Reveley; and The Lucky Shag, just off the top of my head – but it also has a train station that will take you anywhere. What’s more, it’s a short ten-minute walk from EQ up the hill to the city centre.

To the city centre was where we were headed: for a Thai lunch with son Carl at Long Chim, one of several eateries (Petition Kitchen, the Post Bar) in gorgeous old State Buildings on the corner of Barrack Street and St Georges Terrace.

Apart from the convivial Friday lunch buzz, we thoroughly enjoyed the chicken satay with peanuts and turmeric ($16), the crunchy prawn starter with herbs, shallots and chilli ($24), and Roy’s favourite, green papaya with chilli, peanuts and dried prawn ($20). Carl tucked into baked prawns with glass noodles, pork, sesame and ginger ($36).

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Birthday dinner at Coco’s, South Perth

I’d booked his birthday dinner at Coco’s – the South Perth dining institution that’s retained its panache for 32 years (and counting). It’s my friend Anna’s favourite place: each year, she hosts a big table at Coco’s for the highlight of the Australian social calendar, the Melbourne Cup, which is run on the first Tuesday of November. I’ve been invited twice, and I love it – bling and hats are de rigeur, and Coco’s special event menu is sublime. The service, too, is a notch or two above average. Here is a flashback to November 2021:

Coco’s didn’t disappoint tonight, either. Roy thoroughly enjoyed his classic Atlantic salmon sashimi ($32.50) followed by slow-roast beef rib and a side order of broccolini. I tried the tempura king oysters ($16) – tasty, but a bit heavy on the batter and dukkah-type sauce – off the Daily Specials menu, then the main course version of the beef carpaccio with baby capers, chilli, truffle oil and Manchego crisps ($48).

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The Pensinsula Serviced Apartments

When booking accommodation, I try to find a place with a kitchen – so, an apartment rather than a hotel room. That way, we can fend for ourselves on the culinary front if we want to, which is not only healthier but also means we’re not hostage to arbitrary pandemic regulations.

Hence The Pensinula – though you will by now have gathered from the continuous parade of cake and other comestibles that there was no slaving over a hot stovetop this time!

With a charming river and city view, our one-bedroom suite with balcony was a lot quieter than I’d expected. A comfortable bed, though no bathtub for me, and sufficient storage for a change. Nothing fancy – no pool, for example – but there is a guest lounge for victims of awkwardly timed flights either to or from Perth International Airport.

Best of all, it’s less than a five-minute walk from Mends Street Jetty and its Mister Walker, South Perth’s shopping centre and restaurants such as Coco’s, Rambla on Swan, Automatic, Thai Orchid, Miss Chow’s (Asian and reportedly overrated), The Windsor Hotel and, no doubt, others.

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Birthday Cake Day

Friday having been the birthday, Saturday was Birthday Cake Day back home with the family. By the time we got there, son Carl had kindly prepped the crayfish and the beef fillet, while Carrie had made a great winter salad and baked potatoes with the trimmings. Not that it felt like winter – we’d been blessed with yet another perfect late summer’s day.

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On our way home, we’d picked up this aggressively masculine and impressively edible edifice – a Man Cake, purposely devoid of flowers, frills and feminine fancifulness – from Carina’s Kitchen (148 Scarborough Beach Road, Mt Hawthorne).

Though both gluten-free and dairy-free, it is by no means sugar-free or low in calories and is truly delicious. (I can say is not was, because its substantial remains are in our freezer. Good cake freezes beautifully.)

Next weekend, we head to Fremantle for the weekend – and a couple of weeks later, up north to Dongara, Kalbarri and Monkey Mia!